In the UK, it’s somewhat regional what word would be expected, but toilet isn’t generally seen as particularly coarse. Don’t forget that every single word in regular use in English is actually a euphemism. “Toilet” was taken from “toilette” which refers to the process of washing, grooming, dressing, applying makeup etc (as in saying a woman is “at her toilette”). Similarly washroom, restroom, bathroom, water closet (possibly less euphemistic given it has little in the way of other meanings). Even “privy” comes from “the place where things are done in private”.
More direct terms such as “shitter” or “crapper” are considered coarse.
Of course, some people try to be more delicate. When I feel the need to be delicate, I refer to them as “the facilities”.
However “I want to go to the toilet” is considered coarse, in my experience. The polite way to say it is to ask where the toilet (or more euphemistic term) is, or ask if you can use them, without being so direct as to express specifically your need to use them. That said, “I need to pee” or “I need to take a crap” are even worse.
And of course, women have the extra euphemism available of saying they need to “powder their nose” (see the origin of “toilet” above).
It is better if you to toilet as restroom.
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